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January 06 It's 2008Christmas is over. Thank God, the six-foot inflatable Santas are off the lawns. There are a few neighbors who are still blowing them up, even through this first week of the New Year. I would love to stick a pin in every inflatable ever inflated. I don't like them. In the day, they lay around the yards in unrecognizable plastic heaps. At night, some tower in the air but most of them are on their backs, looking helplessly up at the stars.
I am a Christmas lights person. However, I do not have one single Christmas light in my yard. My husband is lazy. I blame him entirely. April 07 Chicks and Clowns When Denis was a little boy, his Grandma gave him a baby chick for Easter. The baby chick grew up to be a chicken. The chicken proceeded to peck the heck out of Denis whenever it came into contact with him. To this day, Denis has bad memories of that chicken. If Denis were stuck in a room with a clown holding a chicken, he would probably scream like a girl and die of sheer terror.
 March 17 Sage Green Shoes Day! Today is the day for me to wear my sage green shoes! Yes, I will have them on. I do not have a lick of Irish in me, but what the heck, I don't want to be pinched.
I will give Bandit and Dingo a greenie for a treat today, so that they too can have the luck of the Irish, though I doubt either of them are Irish.
Here's an interesting link on St. Patrick driving the snakes out of Ireland. Can you tell I just figured out the links on my blog?
I will not drink green beer today because I hate beer. I may have a glass of red wine. Oh wait, frozen margaritas are green. But, I may just have to go with my shoes because I am back on points and cutting down on sugar. I am ready to get on with the weight loss show. I've been hovering at the same weight for quite some time because I've been indulging my sweet tooth.
I have John Tesh to thank for making me think about too much sugar in my diet. I started listening to the John Tesh show while working from home. It's good music (except when they play the occassional Lionel Richey) mixed with John dropping in every few songs to give some really healthy, positive tips. So, put John on the list as one of my co-workers.
Next weekend, I am going to a two-day seminar with Paula D'Arcy. I have read two of her books, Gift of the Red Bird and Sacred Threshold, which I will be taking with me for her to sign. My friend gave me Sacred Threshold when I moved to Louisiana, so it's very special to me.
Check out my new links to the right. I've added John Tesh's website and The High Calling of Our Daily Work. Positive places to visit.
February 20 Fat Tuesday I-HOP is giving away free pancakes today in honor of Fat Tuesday. I am not preparing for Lent today by eating all the lard in my house. I've already taken care of that, starting sometime in December 2006. Nothing like planning ahead. Today, of all days, is the first day I am back on the wagon in terms of no sugar besides one Weight Watchers dessert now and then, but no more than once a day!
Yesterday, feeling the blahs of routine after returning from my cruise, I went to the gym and then to the mall for retail therapy. This is the lowdown. I have bolded areas of restraint:
1. Stopped at food court for chicken nuggets, waffle fries, and diet lemonade.
2. Had a mint-chocolate chip ice cream cone - one scoop.
3. Stopped at Godiva and bought a chocolate covered marshmallow and a truffle.
4. Ate the truffle as I marched off to Dillard's for a jewelry sale.
5. Came home, ate a Lean Cuisine for dinner.
6. Ate the marshmallow and the twizzlers left over from the movies the other day.
This is just a sampling of my recent descent into sugarholism. It is time to admit that I am helpless over sugar and my life has once again become unmanageable. Needing sugar every 2 hours is an unhealthy preoccupation. Why can't I be preoccupied with wanting to eat vegetables five times a day? I'll tell you why, because a Godiva chocolate covered marshmallow tastes a whole hell of a lot better than a carrot stick.
February 14 Dwight Schrute is my Office Mate This Valentine's Day, Denis surprised me with my own Dwight Schrute bobblehead for my office from The Office. My coworkers now consist of:
2 gargoyles from New Orleans;
2 Canadian moose from, of course, Canada;
1 Dwight Schrute bobblehead;
1 artist's model named Bob, who is now jealous of Dwight; and
2 dogs.
Of course, the moose are not real moose. The dogs are real dogs. I still miss real people coworkers. It's the way I'm wired. Got back to my desk today after being gone to Mexico on my cruise and no one was there to give me a hard time about being tired and cranky after a week off. There's just something about people that I like. Now I am singing Barbra Streisand's "People" song again, can you hear me? Which reminds me that American Idol is on tonight.
December 22 Off to CanadaThis is the earliest I've been up in awhile -- 5 a.m., but I've got a plane to catch; Denis and I are off to Canada for Christmas.
There is no snow in the part of Canada we are going to visit. I guess the snow is in short supply after the storm in Colorado.
So, there will be no pictures of snowmen, but there will be pictures. We finally bought a replacement camera for the one that died months ago.
Merry Christmas to anyone who happens to come by the blog. July 04 Independence Day I wish Americans would celebrate the 4th of July with a moment of silence instead of the warlike bangs and light shows that accompany fireworks.
My dog can't take it. He runs around the house in panic, barking, "the readcoats are coming, the redcoats are coming!" He seems astonished that Denis and I are sitting on the couch, reading, as he howls, "Incoming!!"
Out come the tranquilizers. We open our usually off-limits bedroom for him to hide in. The next morning, he is so hung over he can't walk straight. The process repeats itself for about a week because, here is Louisiana, fire is revered much as it was in Caveman times. Give these people a chance to start a bonfire, burn garbage or a tree stump, or to set off fireworks, and they are all over it. I am surprised that the entire state hasn't caught on fire yet. Maybe the swamps are the only stopgap.
One man's holiday is another dog's helliday.
February 14 Love Day Happy Valentine's Day! Do you think Cupid is stupid (as one of the kids in my Sunday School said) or do you think that chubby cherub is divine?
I am not eating chocolate this year because I don't want to get any chunkier, speaking of chunky cherubs. But I did have a Godiva dark chocolate bar over the weekend for my heart's sake.
Hearts, red, roses, chocolate, love, kisses, hugs and all that jazz. January 01 A Year in the Life Well, it is 2006. I am 37. I turned 37 on the tail-end of 2005. So new years are always extra new to me. Two clean pages in the notebook.
Last night, I started my own private New Year's Eve Ritual. I sat outside while listening to music and watching the sun set. My intention was honored: just as the flaming tangerine orb nestled into the trees, "What a Wonderful World" hit my ears. Nice.
I went over 2005 by looking back in my journal. These were my themes, both the good and the bad, in no particular order:
1. Moved to Louisiana
2. Shuffled through denominations; Catholic? Methodist? Episcopalian with a Cathodist-heart.
3. Learned to knit and got tendonitis doing it, which I still have in 2006.
4. Telecommuting to my Texas job.
5. Missing my cubicle at my Texas job. Really, missing the friends who always stopped by the cubicle.
6. Loneliness.
7. Watching as Denis reached his goal of hiking part of the Appalachian Trail.
8. Met my very good new friends: Debbie, Terri, Rachel, Cathy, Joe and Carol Anne; to name just a few.
9. Joined a book club with some of the very good friends.
10. Catholic choir fiasco. I tried to join. They didn't appreciate it. Enough said.
11. Lots of naps, not the good kind, the depressed kind.
12. Obsession with being fat.
13. Lots of overeating.
14. My cat, Pearl, died.
15. Worked on my genealogy.
16. Travelled to Italy.
17. Took LSU art classes and learned Indian motif designs.
18. Met Katrina and Rita. Didn't like either of them.
19. Enjoyed the birds of my backyard. Hummingbirds, cardinals, finches, sparrows.
20. Enjoyed the cows in the pasture behind my backyard. Baby calfs like to run and their parents don't.
And, the most major theme of all, I am learning to be "internally led and not externally fed."
Again and again, I write in my journal that I can feel Jesus leading me away from externals and deeper into the internal. For so long, I have lived letting outside circumstances be the barometer of how I feel inside. This is changing. I wrote in my journal that I could feel I was standing on the edge, where I could see myself and my habits from a distance, instead of standing in the middle of myself, where I couldn't see anything but could only feel confusion.
I didn't make any New Year's resolutions. I am only happy to keep going where I am led. I plan to play lots of music, paint, hang out with friends, walk outside, pray, read, and lower my standards of perfection for myself.
December 26 iPod and ihop (?) at Christmas First for The Revised-Old: Each year, we make raviolis from scratch and each year, my Mom and I struggle to roll out the dough thin enough, and yet, not so thin that you can't work with it. We always lose the battle. The dough turns out too thick and, even after semi-boiling the raviolis for 30 minutes, the dough is still uncooked in places and we chew and chew on our ravioli hockey pucks.
This threatened our Tradition until my ingenious sister, Cindy, came up with the solution of wanton wrappers. Perfection and ease. So, this year, Mom made the ravioli filling and then Denis and I put it in the wanton wrappers. Hence the "revised" because now Denis is in on The Old Tradition.
Now, for the first of the New Traditions. Denis, another ingenious family member, decided that this Christmas, we would each buy ourselves our own present, wrap it ourselves and then surprise the other person with what we got ourselves. I didn't like it at first, but I must say, I was positively delighted with my own gift and I never would have picked out the gifts Denis bought for himself. This is the loot:
Patty: ipod shuffle, itunes gift card.
Denis: ALI G INDAHOUSE movie, Master of the Flying Guillotine movie, and, take a deep breath, AKIRA KUROSAWA Four SAMURAI Classics.
Now, for the second New Tradition. Ever since The-Christmas-We-Do-Not-Speak-Of two years ago, Denis and I have gone to ihop on Christmas Day for breakfast. Last year, Mom joined us too. Let's just say that the number of people round the ihop table is an indicator of a good or bad Christmas. Denis and I at the ihop table, while Mom stays at the house, bad Christmas. God forbid, just one of us at the table, horrible Christmas. All three of us at the table, good Christmas. Really good Christmas!
Anyway, I am happy to announce, this Christmas was our second really good Christmas in a row since we began the ihop Tradition. We all three piled in the car to go to ihop for breakfast. I was especially excited to be going to ihop with my ipod. To our dismay, the ihop, which proudly boasts an "Open 24 Hours" sign, was closed. We drove to a second ihop, same story. Being the resourful person that he is, Denis suggested Waffle House. And, yes, the open arms of Waffle House welcomed us and fed us, well, not pancakes, but waffles, which will do. Hence, the New Tradition, breakfast at Waffle House.
Here's to Tradition, old and new, and ingenuity!
December 20 Cookie Exchange
Yesterday, I joined my friends for a cookie exchange. This was my first cookie exchange ever. There were seven of us, so we each had to make six dozen cookies; one dozen per person. Denis, forever helpful and sometimes featured Guest Writer, calculated that this meant I would be bringing home 72 cookies. An average of 24 cookies per people in our household. (For the mathematically challenged, we have three people in our household, not counting Bandit.)
Being a noble person, Denis decided that this was too many cookies for us and we should carry the cookie loot off to various parties, starting with a party the very night of the cookie swap. I was highly opposed to this idea and told him so. He persisted. I told him to keep his hands off my cookies; they were not his to give! The Christmas Spirit only goes so far. Sweets make me a selfish Devil.
Is it mere coincidence that 12 of the cookies I received were shortbreads in the shape of pigs?
December 06 Buddha's Ready for Christmas Santa may be the only fat guy cramming his bowl-full-of-jelly belly down chimneys this December 24th but, at my house, Laughing Buddha (aka Hotei) is ready for some festivity of his own. Decked out in curly red ribbon, he's ready to let folks rub his belly for a bit of Christmas cheer. I may add a sprig of mistletoe so that he can get a few kisses too.
Hotei has a great view of my Christmas tree. It's a table-top that my friend, Deborah, gave me last year, pre-decorated. I mortified her the year before that with my Charlie Brown 'tree' that had nothing but a string of red lights. (Deborah, if you are reading this, thank you again. The tree makes me think of you).
Weight gain is bound to be an issue this year, as always. My little friend, Hotei, however, does not seem to worry much about weight, even though he hasn't seen his feet in years. We took an online health survey and Hotei's BMI is 48.7, most of which, I suspect, is concentrated in his belly, making the number even more ominous, according to the health experts. Yet, Hotei told me he is not going on a diet. It seems the health experts are not heart experts when it comes to the soul. According to Hotei, the bigger the belly, the more loving the heart.
Hotei's heart does seem full. His daily routine consists soley of smiling at me from my buffet table. He is content whether decked out in red ribbon for Christmas or just hanging out on an ordinary Monday. He reminds me that, the weightiest issue of all, is joy.
November 25 Two Thanksgivings, Knitting and a Chihuahua Last Thanksgiving, I knitted for the entire 4-day weekend. Having joined a knitting group to meet friends (and no, you wise-crackers, the knitters did not shuffle into the coffee shop behind walkers outfitted with bright green tennis ball footies), I knew just enough to get started on my knitathon. Knitting would fill my lonely Louisiana hours and, as a bonus, I'd have a bunch of stuff I could wear 2 days a year!
By Monday, I had a sort-of-square dishcloth and tendonitis. I still have the dishcloth and the tendonitis. I had to give up the knitting, which I actually enjoyed.
This Thanksgiving was much better. Beans (who has his own site at http://spaces.msn.com/members/beannieboy/) invited us to his house for dinner, along with his family and one other set of new friends. After gobbling down some giblets with a little too much gusto and almost choking to death, Beans recovered in good form to fill up his little belly with stuffing and spoon bread. He dozed off on us during a round of Trivial Pursuit, but we didn't fault him. An American Thanksgiving is tough on anyone, not to mention a chihuahua. First, he had nearly choked, as mentioned. Second, he had been up since 4 a.m. when he took our turkey to be professionaly deep fried. Lastly, there was the unfortunate and embarrassing incident when the said Professional Turkey/Duck/Chicken/Road-Kill Frier Guy mistook our host for the meal and wanted to toss him in the fryer. "Cajuns!" decried Beans, "haven't they ever seen a Taco Bell commercial? We're not the food, we advertise the food. I never!"
If I ever get rid of this tendonitis and can knit again, I am going to make up a cute sweater for our host. He deserves it.
November 03 Pumpkins, Canadian and Texas StyleLook at the pumpkins our Canadian friends carved for Halloween! Do Canadians even celebrate Halloween? Just kidding.
I talked with someone yesterday, who like me, is a transplant from Texas to Louisiana. In the midst of this Louisiana State University Tiger college football madness, he bravely carved a University of Texas Longhorn into his pumpkin and set it outside his front door. One trick-or-treater was so nonplussed, he had to lift his mask and ask, "You're for Texas?!" He didn't even get his candy. Later, the Longhorn Carver heard noises outside his front door. He nabbed two girls struggling to pick up his pumpkin. They said they were taking it to show their parents. Considering the Tiger fans around these parts, I think they were about to smash his pumpkin.
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